


Restricted Diet

by Fenris



Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Pre-Roche (obviously!)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-26
Updated: 2011-10-26
Packaged: 2017-10-24 23:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fenris/pseuds/Fenris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>None can withstand the mesmeric influence. Not even the Terror of the Underworld.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Restricted Diet

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of complete and utter fluff featuring Mason's partner displaying his mind control powers.

Dan's still not sure how their planned fifteen-minute stop at Hollis' place for information about an old Minuteman case involving the Screaming Skull turned into Dan and his partner staying for pizza and beer (or in Rorschach's case, pizza and Coke) while Hollis discusses the case with them. Ostensibly they're hanging around so Hollis can recount the incident in question in greater detail, but Dan's pretty sure that Hollis could have given them the salient points of the Skull's role in the affair in less than ten minutes. Anyway, here they are, evidently settled in for a real visit.

When Hollis proposes ordering food, Dan is sure that Rorschach will refuse. But Rorschach surprises Dan by respectfully agreeing to Hollis' invitation, without even the tiniest grumble about wasting time eating pizza while criminals go blithely about their business unmolested. Dan feels a twinge of annoyance tinged with envy at the ease with which Hollis persuades his partner to stay.

Two large pizzas arrive. As soon as Hollis opens the boxes and fragrant cheesy steam wafts up, Phantom materializes in front of him, tail wagging hopefully. Hollis turns a stern eye on the shepherd and says, "No, boy. You know better. Go lie down." The dog gives Hollis a disappointed look but turns and obediently lies down with a heavy sigh.

Dan is curious to see how this is going to work for Rorschach. He wonders whether he's going to be treated to the awkward sight of his partner attempting to maneuver a gooey slice of pizza underneath his mask without showing any facial skin in the process.

But Rorschach has evidently decided that Daniel's mentor, like Daniel, is trustworthy enough to be granted the privilege of seeing Rorschach's lower face, because he rolls the mask up over his nose without hesitation and tucks into a large slice of pepperoni pizza with an appreciative noise. Dan knows it's idiotic to feel even a twinge of jealousy about that. But this is only the third time Rorschach has met Hollis, and it had been six months into their own partnership before Rorschach had trusted Dan enough to reveal that stubbled jaw and grim mouth.

Hollis rises and says, "Be back in a minute, I'm going to get us something to drink." Then he disappears into the kitchen.

As soon as he leaves the room, Phantom gets up and parks himself in front of Dan. Sitting up on his haunches, the big dog waves his tawny front paws at the second Nite Owl. Dan grins at him and tears a big chunk off of the slice he's eating.

“Here, boy!” Dan chirps to the shepherd and flips the food toward him. Phantom jumps up and neatly catches the treat in mid-air, then sits and munches it happily, tail thumping the floor.

Hollis calls out from the kitchen where he’s busy retrieving a six-pack of cold beer and some bottles of Coke from the refrigerator. “Dan? You’re not feeding him any pizza, are you?”

Looking guilty, Dan hesitates, then comes out with a feeble, uncertain “Uhh...no?”

Comfortably parked at the other end of the sofa and idly leafing through a Time magazine, Rorschach chuffs in amusement. Dan scowls and bestows an unloving look on his partner. Unperturbed, Rorschach just smirks at Dan and calmly turns a page. “Terrible liar, Daniel.”

Hollis pokes his head out of the kitchen and says, "Sorry, Dan. I don't mean to be hard-nosed about it, but pizza really plays havoc with the old boy's digestion nowadays. And if he gets hold of any of that pepperoni, well, let's just say we'll all be sitting outside, you know?"

Grimacing, Dan waves at Hollis. "No problem, Hollis, really. I won't feed him any more of it. Sorry about that."

Hollis brings their drinks in and they sit for a while, eating and talking. At one point, Hollis remembers that he might have some additional information about the case they're discussing stored in his Minuteman files. He excuses himself for a few minutes, and goes to his study to look for it. After he leaves, Dan gets up and stretches, working a few kinks out of his back. Then he heads off to the bathroom, leaving his partner and Mason's partner alone together.

***

Rorschach spares the dog a brief look and sees that the animal is watching him intently. More specifically, he's intently watching the slice of pizza that Rorschach has just lifted out of the pizza box. After a minute, Rorschach starts to feel inexplicably uncomfortable as he eats his pizza under the dog's attentive gaze. Bringing the magazine up as a barrier, Rorschach retreats behind the paper screen and keeps eating, blocking his view of the dog's face.

The brown eyes continue to stare. Rorschach can feel them boring through the magazine pages. Finally he lowers the periodical and gives the dog his most intimidating glower.

“No.”

Expressive eyes yearn toward him, then toward the half-eaten pizza slice in his hand.

“No.”

The dog sighs deeply and the tip of the tail wags just a little.

“Said _no!_ ”

Paws shuffle, and imploring dark eyes blink at him. A tremulous little pathetic whine shivers in the furry throat.

"Smart enough to take down the Screaming Skull. Should be smart enough to figure out how to order your own pizza."

Phantom evidently realizes that he needs to bring out the big guns. He sits up on his haunches like a miniature bear and waves his front paws at the stoic vigilante. He utters a little " _buff_ " and whines softly.

"Begging should be beneath you. Makes you look weak."

Crestfallen, Phantom drops his front paws back down to the floor and the dog droops, obviously crushed by Rorschach's rejection. With a heartfelt sigh, the shepherd sinks slowly to the floor, ears flattening as his muzzle drops down to rest between his paws. Outwardly unmoved, Rorschach takes another slice of pizza out of the box and returns his attention to the magazine.

Inch by inch, Phantom creeps along on his belly toward Rorschach, stopping and lowering his head each time the man looks up suspiciously. Soon the dog's nose is almost touching Rorschach's boot. Pretending not to notice, Rorschach inwardly admits a tiny bit of admiration for the animal's ability to sneak up quietly on someone, then shakes himself and concentrates on his reading.

A furry chin lays itself timidly on a pinstriped knee. Rorschach's head snaps up and he puts the magazine aside to glare at the presumptuous dog. Phantom's bushy tail wags uncertainly. A sigh and a tiny disappointed whimper escapes, as mournful eyes look up at Rorschach, then flick oh-so-briefly toward the pizza box before returning to the man's half-masked face. Rorschach glares down into the upturned melting brown eyes and growls.

***

Hollis finds the files and photos he was looking for, and on his way back makes a side trip into the kitchen to get some snacks to supplement the pizza. As he grabs a bag of potato chips, he hears a happy yip and loud crunching from the living room. He freezes, head cocked suspiciously. Using his best annoyed policeman's _What do you kids think you're up to?_ voice, he shouts, “Danny! Are you feeding that dog more pizza?”

Dan responds from the hallway where he's been dawdling, looking at the framed Minutemen photos hung there, his voice strong with real indignation this time.

“No! Of course not!”

Mystified, Hollis looks into the living room. Phantom is lying on the floor, blissfully crunching. The edge of a thick piece of pizza crust peeps out from between his black-fringed lips for just a moment before disappearing down his furry gullet.

Sitting on the sofa and looking as if he hasn't moved in hours, Rorschach studies his magazine, projecting an air of complete disinterest. Hollis plants his hands on his hips and levels a severe expression at Dan's partner. It's a look that has wrung guilty confessions out of many a miscreant. Unlike his partner, however, Rorschach is not a terrible liar. He looks up at Hollis and shrugs.

"Dog figured out how to get its own pizza. Very smart animal."

As Hollis watches Phantom give a little burp and lick his chops in satisfaction, he has to admit that Dan's partner is quite right.


End file.
